I'm A Mum? Since When?
- Kaja Cardinal-Bilou
- Nov 30, 2016
- 2 min read
It's been nearly 4 months since I 'officially' became a mother; & honestly; I don't feel like it. What is a mum even supposed to feel like?
I sometimes have to stop & think to myself, wow I'm a mum. It's a job that I do everyday, 24/7 non stop; especially being a stay-at-home-mum for the time being. Even through all the 9 months of pregnancy & the daily 'usual mom stuff'. I just don't know if I feel like a mum should. You know?
Then I think about being a mum at 18. & When I'm 19 I'll be a mother to a 6 month old. Like what? It seems so unreal to me. When will I really feel like a mum? I'm unsure. But I love that I am one. It's my favorite job in the entire world & I wouldn't give it up for anything.
Maybe I never will feel like a mum is supposed to feel; maybe it's this weird idea I've put into my head.
But I still can't believe it. Time has gone by way, way too fast. This past year seems like a flash; especially these past 6 months. Sometimes I just want time to stand still. I cry at times; knowing my little will never be this little again. But I'm also so excited to see who he will become; he's already developed such a personality.
Maybe feeling like a mum is seeing your heart exist outside of your chest cavity. Being so proud of little things like those smiles when they see you or the sound of their giggle making you smile & filling your heart even more. Being so selfless & buying them everything & loving every moment of it. Giving you motivation to do things you probably never would've done if it wasn't for them...be still my heart.
Being a mum is the most mentally & physically exhausting job I've ever had the pleasure of experiencing; It's the most rewarding. It's taught me so much. Maybe that's what mum's feel like & that's what being a mum is supposed to feel like. I mean, I guess so. It's different for everyone & it's just still so new to me.
I've never been so filled with so many complicated emotions within my short lifetime untill little knox was welcomed into the world; but I'm so grateful to experience them.
Sure, this is possibly a pointless, short blog to start the week but it's something I think about day to day & wanted to share my personal feelings on being a new mum. Anyone else?
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