The Day Little Knox Was Welcomed Into The World.

As I begin to write this, recalling that very day; my heart is so full & my eyes are full of tears. This is my birth story. The day that our little Knox was welcomed into the world.

It all started July 30th, 2016. Kyven was at work & I had already been in false labour 15 times within two months; & for the past 2 weeks had non stop contractions. I knew he would be early, I just knew it.

It was around 6pm that day. I was expecting Kyven to be home soon & I was starving. Actually I was just getting ready to go get some chicken wings & onion rings from the little Pizza place down the road. That's when they started; the contractions. They were so painful BUT this had happened a many times before (but they usually stopped after 30 minutes at the most). So, I sat down & I waited them out; expecting them to go away like every other time.

It had been an hour & They had gotten much worse, very persistent & I had ended up losing my mucus plug. So, I called my Doula; Emily. She suggested waiting another half an hour before calling my midwife. So I did just that. During that time period I called my mother. Telling her there's a good chance I was in labour & I might need a ride to the hospital; I told her to stand by. Then, I had to call Kyven, but had no clue where to start.

You see at this point in time Kyven did not have a working phone. He worked as a tenting guy & everyday he worked in a different location. I had his boss's number, but more often than not he wasn't with Kyven. To my luck I had remembered that Paul (Kyven's best friend & Knox' godfather) had been working alongside Kyven the past couple days. So I gave it a shot, called him & sure enough he was with Kyven (at this point it had almost been half an hour) & told them to come home, like now.

That's when I called my midwife Chrissy, she confirmed I was most likely in labour & told me to head over to Peter Lougheed & she would meet us there. I called my mother back & all of us met at the house (Kyven & Paul were most definitely in quite the panic). Then proceeded to go to the hospital.

We got in to triage right away (thank god for midwife life). They hooked me up & sure enough I was having pretty hasty contractions. I was checked for dilation & wow, only a fingertip. (By the way, I was whining in pain the whole time).

You see, with most women they would have said 'let's break her water ect,ect. BUT; I wasn't considered 'full term' just yet. I was only 36+5 at this point (So, two days away). They didn't have much options for pain killers to give me as i'm allergic to morphine, so they gave me some other stuff. They gave me a total of 4 different medications throughout the evening/night. All of them would work for 5 minutes & then it would seem like I hadn't even taken a tylenol.

My midwife needed to go home for the time being; before she left she confirmed I was in early labour & 1CM dilated. The nurse asked what I wanted, & I stated that I wanted laughing gas & to be kept over night. I was terrified of going home with how much pain I was in. They agreed & moved me to a room.

This is one thing that absolutely blew. Being a young couple, very young; we weren't taken seriously by some staff. The doctor I ended up having the morning of July 31st, was not so kind. (Might I add, I hadn't slept a blink all night I was in such agonizing pain, but my future mother-in-law & my mother kept me from losing my sanity).

They scheduled an ultrasound that morning to confirm if I had placenta previa or not. That was the last time I saw Knox inside me. He was massive compared to 20 weeks, I couldn't believe it. Everything was fine, they sent me back to my room. They checked for dilation; I was 2 CM. Then the doctor stated 'You have not dialated at all' & in my mind I was like 'Um yes I have, by 2 CM!' But, he intimidated me & I didn't want any confrontation. I just wanted my midwife back.

It was around 12 in the afternoon, the doctor told me after my midwife comes back I'd most likely be sent home. This terrified me as I could barely speak half the time I was in so much pain; even with huffing on laughing gas like it was oxygen I so desperately needed.

My midwife arrived around 2PM. She checked me, I was 2 & 1/2 CM. She stated yes, I had dilated & Apparently the doctor I just had wasn't taking me seriously; he thought I was playing an act. Yes me, a severely pregnant women stayed up for over 24 hours screaming in pain & most obviously having contractions according to your machine, is playing a game.

But you see, the reason he thought this, is because of my mental health record. I'm diagnosed with a handful of things & he just simply disregarded that I could act like a capable human being. (I have Bipolar type II which primarily caused him to think all that). My midwife told us this. My mother was livid, I was extremely offended, tired, & just wanted my baby boy in my arms.

My midwife stated she did not feel safe sending me home & would break my water. The doctors at the hospital did not want her to because I was technically 'preterm' by a day, & if she did it, it could risk my baby being in the NICU, ect, ect. I understood; but something inside of me knew Knox would be okay & that he just needed to be born. She said if they did not agree with her after the second proposal, we would be moving me to rocky view. But they ended up coming to an understanding.

At 4:05pm July 31st, she broke my water (& wow that was painful!) Knox was moving around like crazy this whole time as per usual & the tummy monitors weren't doing the job. (also, now being in preterm labour, they had to really monitor Knox) So, they hooked up a heart monitor to his head. No joke, I felt bad for him.

From 4-7pm I was bouncing on my yoga ball & in the bathtub in the delivery room huffing laughing gas & spraying hot water on my back from the shower head. The pain was getting more intense, I was exhausted & frustrated (especially because I couldn't eat). My midwife checked for dilation; only fucking 3 & 1/2 CM. I felt so defeated.

My midwife said to call her when it was time to push, & ordered the nurses to give me oxytocin & an epidural. Before all this, all I wanted to do was give a drug free birth, but I was in excruciating pain & apparently my body was so stressed & exhausted I wouldn't dilate any further. It had to be done.

After 2 hours on oxytocin, I was 5 CM. This is when the epidural came & honestly; I was terrified. The laughing gas was the only thing keeping me from having panic attack throughout this whole shabang. The thought of needles going in my spine, possible nerve damage & paralyzation, freaked me out. They got it in, & that's when things got weird.

Thank god, I didn't even feel like I was in labour anymore. Half of my body was numbed & I had to keep turning every 30 minutes. Oh, might I add My mother & Kyven were in the room with me. My mom hadn't slept & ended up passing out in the corner of the delivery room, Kyven was beside me fighting sleep, & a ton of people were patiently waiting for Knox to be born in the waiting room. & me? I had not slept for 30 hours at this point. But I could NOT sleep. I was so excited to meet someone I had known for 9 months, the little human that was my heart outside of my body. I actually, no word of a lie; did my makeup. I did my fucking makeup in labour. It wasn't the best as I couldn't sit up, using my phone camera & no wipes, but I did what I could; it made me feel much better.

Around 2:30am, I was 8 & 1/2 CM dilated. The nurse started setting up everything. Saying he'd probably make his debut within the hour. Anxiety started to rise, everyone around me was asleep. I woke up Kyven & told him to call the midwife, he said to wait until I started pushing so I listened.

35 minutes later, I was 10. It was time. I actually remember nearly crying this whole time, knowing my baby boy would be here so soon. I was so happy, so so happy. But, the amount of pressure in my back was unreal. Kyven woke up in a flash, woke my mom up too, it was like both of them just had shots of adrenaline. I pushed, & man that fucking hurt. Every push I knew I was that much closer to having my boy in my arms, that's the only thing that kept me from giving up.

Besides Kyven & My mum. They were like my own personal cheer squad. I remember my mum wanted to take pictures at that point & I screamed at her no, oh man. This is when things started to get crazy. Knox' head was coming, but his heart rate was lowering from me being in labour for so long. They needed him out, right then & there. So, I ended up getting an assisted vac, it's like a little plunger.

4 Pushes later & Knox had officially entered the world at 3:49AM Weighing 7.05LBS & 19.25IN long. I sobbed, Kyven sobbed (& cut the cord) , my mother sobbed. I couldn't believe he was in my arms, breathing, healthy; perfect. My heart had never felt so unbelievably full before. I held him for an hour, I didn't want to ever let go. I remember being so scared holding him; I had never held a newborn before. He was so fragile I was scared I would hurt him.

Then my midwife arrived, weighed him. ect. He cried so much, I almost cried hearing him cry. Chrissy told Kyven to stick his pinky in Knox' mouth, which worked like a charm (& might I add still does to this day). Then Kyven held him for the first time. Seeing the look on his face, both of them together; I didn't think it was possible to fall in love with him anymore.

& That is the story, of when the two of us became 3 & our hearts became full. We love you so little mister, you're the light of our day, everyday.